Small confession: from time to time I indulge in vanity searches. Imagine my surprise to find myself quoted in a book.

Now, I’m not just quoted in a book; I’m quoted in a political book written by Steve Laffey. Yes, /that/ Steve Laffey, the one who ran against Lincoln Chafee back in 2006.

There it is, right on page 18:

And Der Tommissar put it best when he wrote: “I have no idea why everyone is so upset. Lincoln Chaffee is the greatest Republican since Jim Jeffords! Oh. Oops.”

The most impressive part, in my mind, is found by reading through the entire paragraph. Steve prefaces every other guy with a bit of a description. “An anonymous Republican known to the blogosphere known as Bradmaui.” “A Providence, Rhode Island, resident named Ballottra”. When he gets to me, it’s just “Der Tommissar” because seriously, he knows that no introduction is necessary.

It’s kinda like reading a poetry anthology and seeing, “A British Romantic poet from Devonshire….a lyricist noted for his plays…” and then “and Yeats”.

That makes me Yeats, for those at home keeping score.

Here’s the scary thing. I found this because Steve’s book is in google books and this passage happens to be on a page that is indexed. Think on that. Given the low percentage of books and the few pages listed in Google books, I could actually be quoted in tens of thousands of books. Heck, someone out there might have devoted a chapter to me.

Who knows?

On the other hand, this is just one of my many accomplishments:

Now, most people are thinking, “Gee Tommissar, you must be thrilled when you read this over.” Incorrect.

And then I wept, for I had no more worlds to conquer.

Ladies and gentlemen, TJ Simers:

You spend any time in this dingy city and around these folks, and pit bulls running wild come to mind.

Fine when leashed, but set them free, put a beer in their grubby paws and it’s only a matter of time before they’re going to go on the attack — both the home team and its opponent feeling the bite.

It’s an angry place, all right, everything old here in Philadelphia, crumbling and in ruin. Even the city’s main attraction has a crack in it.

So the prevailing opinion around here is you have to be an obstinate pug to make it in Philly, the football team tough, the hockey team a bunch of bullies and the Phillies rugged competitors like Larry Bowa.

For no reason that I can fathom, a line from that great move “Slapshot” comes to mind:

Reggie Dunlop: I am personally placing a hundred-dollar bounty on the head of TJ Simers. He’s the head dork and chief punk on that Los Angeles team.
Jim Carr: A bounty?
Reggie Dunlop: Yeah, a hundred bucks of my own money for the first of my guys who really nails that creep.